Fill Your Life With "Go" Characters, Let Go Of "No" Characters

This past week I have been connecting with people in ways that I have not in many years. What a welcomed change! It has me thinking how lucky I am to have such a strong supporting cast in my life. In my story their support really is being felt on my mind and spirit and is so important to build the confidence that I need. I have always had an inner strength and strong sense of self but I have never been someone who enjoyed being alone much less dabble in something that could be perceived as isolating. I've always had to rationalize away as much risk before I could make any move. This has at times driven Erica nuts. This is not happening within me so much these days. I have learned why I am able to make such a bold move and take this risk.

My cast of characters is a big reason why. Candidly, when 99% (I think someone might have called us crazy and left it at that) of the people you tell about what you're wanting to do respond with "Oh my gosh, I'm envious", you are met with excitement and optimism that can't be duplicated with flow charts and planning. Now all that is left to do is go through with it to honor everyone's ambitious expectations of this cool once in a lfetime adventure that we are doing. I'll get back to those expectations later.

I never planned to bring in a "cast", yet my realizations are paramount to the implementation of this trip. If more people would have just told me no then the story shifts and most certainly the plot would thicken and I would probably never have this blog. But they didn't! When I told the first person that I was thinking about selfishly taking a much needed break (over two years ago) because I felt that I was missing the children growing up and having a tough time balancing everything, her answer was; "Quit work tomorrow, we'll be fine. We always get by and we'll figure it out"! Knowing her, I expected that, but it still scared the hell out of me. Having a life partner like Erica has been full of all the highs and lows that a marriage brings but consistently she has always supported me in my professional pursuits. Why would she not say "no" when she has much to lose as well? It turns out she began to challenge me more to the point where I could no longer push "doing it" away. She craved the idea more at times than I did. I had to go! So if you are going to drag your family around the country with no income you better have a partner like Erica in your cast.

Next, I slowly began to talk to people in my circle of friends and co-workers by dropping hints in conversation to test my theory that I was somehow delusional. Surely they would share with me their adventures gone wrong and all the horror stories of failed homeschooling and regrets of losing their tenure and career. I vivdly remember a conversation with a respected colleague who shared with me his similar sabbatical that he took with his family. He took his family to live in a foreign country for 18 months at a similar age and career stage. He told me the highs and the lows and there were many of both. Turns out it didn't end up changing his career dramatically like he initially envisioned and he wound up back in banking leadership. What did change was his attitude, his resolve became renewed for all that his job was changing to. He made me promise him that I would go. So I am!

One of my biggest fears is failing and I have a therapist (Yep...he said "Go" too!) that is helping me with that so I will spare you the details. But this fear of failing has been a big hurdle for me to overcome to pull this trip off. Failing on the trip is one thing, but failing to make the right decisions as I transition out of employment and my fulfilling career has been extremely hard. I decided that when I went out I was going to do it respectfully. I gave three months notice to my boss. This decision has been rewarded with so many kind words of support from my colleagues. My boss made me promise to call her first when I return...I will! Yesterday, I received a call and a card from one of the senior executives that I directly report to thanking me for all that I have done for the bank. She validated me and erased my fear of career suicide with her words of encouragement for me and my family and reaffirmed my boss' desire to have me back on the team should I choose in a year. When I first decided to walk away from work, I hesitated to tell anyone because 1.) They might assume that I am running from my career. 2.) I feared their judgement. This was a huge miss and I am proud of my choice to openly share my life with such wonderful people at work. I couldn't have cast a more supportive group of people. Once again no one at work has said no to me and thankfully have kept their "crazy" comments for the watercooler!

One last thought so I can post and go show Blythe our attic...she has become obsessed! When your kids have no toys their imagination runs wild. "What might be in that attic?" Anyway...as I sat around the table with friends yesterday, they were all so inspired by the tales of future travel being told that I actually felt a bit of apprehension for a few moments. While their excitement was infectious and their vivid stories of past family adventures were being shared, I found it hard to calm the anxiety of having to plan to be at all of these cool places and not miss any hidden gem of a spot along our route. I told Erica this feeling and together we have decided to let what cool spots we get to see be the gift. When we truly stay in the moment, there will be no expectation, no fear, no anxiety and no regret. Yet this same group of friends told me "Go!" not "No!" I am thankful to have the cast of people in my life that I do and I will treasure the next three weeks with many of them here in San Diego. For someone to be successful on a big life change, start now to move as far away from the people who say "No". You will need the push and support of as many "Go" people that you can find!

Blythe was to scared to go up:)

Blythe's temporary bed mat and no toys! They are all packed for now.