Motivation to Keep Going

When the fear has left you and you are immersed in an adventure, that is when you truly begin to enjoy yourself.  We have had an incredibly calm past two weeks. Our anxiety is low and we are finding our ability to be in the moment getting easier everyday.  We have found time to be creative and free our minds.  We are truly enjoying ourselves and the kids are adjusting along with us.  

This adventure has not been without fear. We feared walking away from careers the most. We also feared judgement from those who's opinions we value so much. We feared messing up our kids routines, even our own routines. We feared obstacles we knew were ahead but had no idea what they might be. We feared failure. All of this could have stopped us from pulling the trigger.  We don't claim ignorance at all. Those fears have gone away now much because we have been validated by such an incredible experience.  

There is something that we have never feared and that is our faith in ourselves to overcome all of these fears.  We find ourselves embracing these new experiences, good or bad, that will forever alter the course of our lives as a family. We are also moving well past the anxiety of all the losses that we have incurred. Those losses include our home, jobs, community of friends and all of the familiar extracurricular activities that filled our lives for the past five years. We are slowly creating new routines that give us a sense of purpose like maintenance duties, cooking duties and cleaning and laundry duties. It is always humbling to have to find a laudromat along our route as we rely heavily on the campground laundry facilities whenever they are present. We also have to manage the gray and black water along the way making sure to have enough fresh water to handle our business when we are boondocking or drydocking.  You have to get very comfortable with public bathrooms and showers. This can be a challenge for someone like me who struggles with a touch of OCD.  Food and water is a daily focus whether it is refilling water bottles, going grocery shopping or cooking meals. Planning for Costco runs as we travel the major cities along our route is now on our plate since we signed back up as members last week. We have confirmed that even a family bent on minimalism can't justify not having Costco in their life!

The kids have not quite figured out their roles yet other than watch movies and play every chance they get.  Now we feel like those roles can begin to be created by Erica and I as the summer comes to a close in the next few weeks and we start our planning for homeschooling them.  Erica is plugged into the supply ordering program through our homeschooling charter school based in California.  We know this is going to be tough for all and will begin to slowly pile it on to their plate.  Once again, they have been in play mode so this will be a struggle. I still feel great about all the learning they are taking in despite their lack of structure this far. This leaves us more confident and optimistic about our chances of success in educating them this year.

Despite our fears and the real obstacles we have faced we are determined to keep going. Erica and I have checked in often with each other, mostly during or immediately following a stressful moment involving the RV or the kids, to ask "should we keep going or do you want to pack it in and go home?" Uttering those words gets it out of our heads but immediately creates within me a fear of losing the freedom of adventure that we have dreamed of creating for our family and have experinced during these past six weeks. The fear of losing our dream is all the motivation we now need to continue.  In the end there will be no what-if's and there will be no regrets. What will be is exactly as we do from here on. 

I hope these pictures from our stop in Itasca State Park in Minnesota at the Mississippi Headwaters help explain our push to keep going.  I just can't get enough of exploring this country's beauty and was happy this stop was on our trek through Minnesota.  I have dreamed of going here since listening to one of my favorite Indigo Girls songs called Ghost that starts with the lyrics" The Mississippi's mighty, it starts in Minnesota, at a place that you can walk across with five steps down."  We all walked in the river and the kids and I spent time swimming in its pristine water before packing up and heading further North.

Peace and Love